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To Stay or Go? A Deployment Choice
By: Angela Davis

 

When news of deployment arrives, staying in the Twentynine Palms area or leaving is one of many things to consider. Numerous questions may be running through your mind. “Can I get a job easily? Can I find a place to live quickly? Where will I store my belongings? Do I want to do all those things over again when the deployment ends? How will moving affect my children?” Every spouse must weigh the pros and cons. Three spouses share their experience.

Stay
Ciera Rill decided to stay during her husband’s deployment in order to keep their apartment in Joshua Tree. Her husband, Troy, deployed to Iraq with 3rd Battalion, 7th Marines in 2008. It was Troy’s second deployment but the Rills’ first deployment as a married couple. Ciera had to adjust to living alone and being across the country from her family and friends while her husband was gone.

“It was hard at first because the few girls that I did know all moved back home,” she said. During the deployment, Ciera kept busy by sending her husband and his friends care packages, visiting home and enrolling in college courses. As the deployment progressed, she met other women whose husbands were deployed.

“They have helped me through this whole deployment,” she said. “I love all of them. I wouldn’t change staying out here for anything.” Ciera said the experience taught her to be more independent. If Troy deploys again, Ciera plans to stay in Joshua Tree. “I love being here,” she said. She recommends staying in the area during deployment to any spouse, as long as they feel safe and are willing to meet people. “You have to have a good sense of humor and be able to find things to do.”

Alyssa Atchley’s husband, Paden, is also with 3rd Battalion, 7th Marines. The Atchleys have been through two deployments together. The first time, they were engaged and Alyssa still lived at home. The second time, they were married and lived in 801 housing in Twentynine Palms. Alyssa chose to stay during the second deployment in order to keep their house. It was the first time she had lived alone. She wasn’t able to find a job and didn’t like being so far from her family. “My dad is very sick and it was difficult being away from him throughout his surgeries and hospital stays,” she said.

Although the deployment was challenging, Alyssa learned a lot about herself. “I know that I'm capable of being on my own now, whether or not I like it, and it has helped me see some of my own faults,” she said. “If I had not stayed, I wouldn't have met some of the women that I know now. I think leaving makes it harder to transition back into military life when you take a seven-month hiatus.” Alyssa believes every military spouse should stay for at least one deployment, especially if she can work, volunteer or go to school and has reliable friends. “I can’t imagine going through this alone,” she said.

Go
Laura Mason decided to leave Twentynine Palms because she attended college in San Diego. She and her husband, Patrick, have been through three deployments. Patrick is with 1st Battalion, 7th Marines and deployed to Iraq for the third time in 2009. This deployment was their first as a married couple. “I really tried to keep our place in Twentynine and see if I could keep doing the commute, but I knew it just wouldn't be practical,” she said.

She chose to leave Twentynine Palms during deployment so she could finish school, be close to family and friends, get a job more quickly and save money. She also left because many of her friends in Twentynine Palms went home during deployment. “I think having that core support system is what is most important when trying to ‘survive’ a deployment,” Laura said, “and wherever you find that is where you should try to be.”